Motivation vs Obligation

As I sit out on the porch and my sweet friend Kelli's house, listening to the birds, while I'm watching her father, I find my thoughts turning towards how I can find motivation to stay consistent. The last article I was working on was on Mothers Day. And you might ask where that article is. The truth is I stopped and started on it about 3 or 4 times in about a week or two, didn't like how it was turning out and deleted it. I guess that is probably why I still haven't posted anything for a while. 

I am beginning to see a pattern, that is just now showing itself to my conscious mind. I see that I have a tendency to give up when things become difficult or hard. It makes it alot harder to find the motivation to getting started again.  But I'm here. I have enough motivation that it's only been a few days since my last attempt at writing and just a couple of weeks since my last post. 

Now if I compare myself to a professional who writes everyday,maybe even multiple times a day, that might not seem like a lot. But if I compare that to my past self that would have completely forgotten about the project till months or years later, hmm, not so bad. I used to have a tendency though to beat myself up every time I would find myself not being consistent and would berate myself for not trying hard enough.  

Now this is a couple of days later, I still haven't posted anything, but yay, I'm back at it.  When I sit still for a while and know I've got a few minutes where I don't have anything that needs to be done this seems to be a go to now. It seems my brain treats it as a hobby that can only be done when I don't have anything else that needs done. 

I think this may be the thing that needs to change if I want to create real momentum. I need to train my brain that writing is a priority every day.  Or at least more days than not.  At least that's what I need to do if I want to produce a serious body of work.  Or so my brain is telling me.  

But do I really want to make it a priority, an obligation? I find it fun when I just want to do it, but when it becomes something I feel like I have to do, it starts feeling like a chore.  It has been that way with anything I have wanted to turn into a job. As soon as I start thinking of something as a job it becomes less fun.  Is that because I think work can't be fun? In all honesty every job I've ever had, I low key despised. Work feels like punishment, chores always felt like punishment.  I've often heard people say, if it was fun they wouldn't call it work, or all work no play makes Jack a dull boy.

I definitely feel like as a society here in America, we grow up thinking of work as a necessary evil. It's probably like that in other places to.  I would love to love my job though.  I get a disability check, and do little odd jobs to make a little extra here and there,  but I actually do not really have to work.  That maybe one of the reasons I have such a hard time actually trying to create momentum with the writing. I don't get any money for my time as of yet, and may never.  So I really don't think of it as a job. But I do love the idea of it becoming one, of maybe someday being able to say I am a published author.  

So does it really matter if I create momentum with this.  Not really, but I am creating a slow momentum because it is something I enjoy and I will continue to come here and practice and create whenever I feel like it, because it's no longer something I'm doing because I feel like I have to. I will continue to enjoy myself as long as I'm just coming to the page to play.  I'm not going to force myself to think of it as a job, or even something I have to create momentum with.  If I never write another article it would be no big deal.  But if I continue to play on the page and wind up creating something that could someday influence another soul create something too,  well...   yay for me! AND Yay for you! 

Anyways, Have a great day!  Love you!

Author 

Delila Bishop 

It's A Choice

 

Happiness is a choice. I know sometimes it doesn't really seem like it. Especially when there are hard things going on in your life.  But it truly is a choice. I remember when I decided I was going to figure out this happiness thing.  It felt like something that was so far away.  It didn't feel like it was something that could be possible for me.  

I began to look up articles about how to be happy. I began to practice the things I found out about that would help.  Meditation, taking time doing things you love, the list can go on and on.  But really it's about making a decision, that you are going to do something about your happiness, and taking action on it. 

If you've ever heard the expression fake it till you make it. It really can help. Smile, even if you don't feel like it. It will change your body chemistry to start feeding your brain happy hormones. Say no to things that don't serve you anymore. Stop hanging around people who bring you down. If it's a work situation, start looking for a new job if you need to. 

If you are unhappy start looking at what needs to change. But make sure you are taking care of the core issues first. Sometimes it's our very own stinking thinking that is causing the issue.  I had to really dig deep to figure out what I needed to change about my own self before I started getting happy.  

A huge part of my happiness is being grateful. I try to dedicate a part of my day to counting my blessings. It's really hard to be unhappy and grateful at the same time. Even when a steady flow of things are going wrong, if you start looking for the reason to be grateful, your brain will find it. Many times when my life gets difficult, I am able to find life's lessons burried within those situations. 

Now instead of looking at something as not fair, or taking the stance of why me, I can look at it and ask myself how can I grow from this situation.  When I stopped looking at myself as a victim, it opened up more room for happiness.  It didn't mean I wasn't a victim, it just means I let go of hanging on to that attitude. By hanging on to the grudge and hanging on to the hate, I wasn't hurting the perpetrator, I was hurting myself. It doesn't make what happened ok. But it does make it easier to take back control of your life, when you can look at what happened with eyes of curiosity.  

What has that got to do with happiness? I know in my life there were lots of times when I got lost in unhappiness, because of being a victim in some way or other. For me, I would get caught up reliving an angry conversation or an accident over and over. I would start thinking of all the things that I could have said or should have said. I had no control of my mind. 

In all honesty, the thing that is going to be able to bring you the most happiness in life, is the skill of directing your mind in the ways that will bring happiness.  Being able to redirect and change your mind when it is being unhelpful.  Knowing that you don't have to believe your own mind about everything.  Just because you have a thought doesn't make it true. 

I wish you a happy life!

Anyways,  Have a Blessed Day 

Author 

Delila Bishop

Sending Love

Sending Love to That Which Feels Unlovable

Everyone is talking about how the world has gone crazy. It is the main topic in a lot of the podcasts that I watch. The world seems more polarized than ever. There is another possible war. The world's elites and governments are getting away with murder and massively raping the earth of her resources. The poor are getting poorer and the rich are getting richer. AI has just really started booming.  Robots seem to be knocking on the world's front door in a really big way. 

A lot of these things have been this way for what seems to be a really long time though. We just didn't see it. There has been a war in every new generation. The churches have been screaming end of days for 2000 years.  Conspiracy Theorists say that the true history of the world has been hidden from us. But as much information that has gone from conspiracy to absolute truth lately, there is no telling what is true.  

I guess what I'm getting at is that there is a lot of things in the world that we are judging right now, or at least I know I am. But the judgments disturbe my spirit. They cause me to fear and hate that which I have judged as wicked and greedy. There have been major tragedies and injustices that have come into our awareness.  

I try to think of these things as arrows. As we go through life we have to stear our ship. Sometimes we stear our ship towards our desires, sometimes we stear it away from that which is not desirable. I believe we have to be the change we want to see in the world. If we see that there is war in the world and that is not what we desire, we must orient ourselves towards peace within. We must direct our thoughts towards the solution instead of the problem.  

We have 8 billion people on this earth who are lovely intelligent people. Create thought tanks, talk about solutions. Take action on those solutions. If you feel super passionate about this, that, or the other it is possible you are supposed to be part of the solution. 

The first step is always going to be to heal your own trauma around the issue first. Because if you are just going around throwing around hateful words, thoughts, and actions at the issue it just creates more momentum for that thing to continue.  But when we ply it with patience and love for the organism as a whole, realizing that as a world we have a cancer so to speak, we can heal it with a gentleness. We have to look at our own selves and see where we have been part of the problem.  

It's not easy to look at ourselves with unbiased constructive criticism.  The key is to not judge yourself for your past mistakes, and just realize you were a different person then.  Now that you can see there is room for improvement, move into awareness at first.  Just notice when you see yourself reacting as the old you, when you have time to reflect think about how you would like future you to handle the situation if it comes up again.  Try to think about the situation as if you weren't in it, but as if you were an outside observer.  Eventually you will start reacting in a way that is very natural and easy in the way you do want.  

The important thing to remember is that hurt people hurt people. Forgiveness is about healing our own psychy. When we have the disturbance in our field of hate, anger, and fear, it directly affects our health, and the health of the world. As within so, without, the kingdom of heaven in within you, and so is hell. Junk in, junk out as we used to say in computer class. When we install the right programs and software into our own psychy, we can start controlling the output. In other words we can start captaining our own ship. Our feelings and actions will be directed by our inner world instead of the outer one. 

When we take action on that wich is unlovable with love, we can start to be a part of the solution.  

Anyways, Have a Blessed Day!

Author 

Delila Bishop

The Simple Things

 

As I was sitting here wondering what I should write about today, a Teddy Swims song came on talking about the simple things in life. It was a great reminder. Most of the most vivid memories that stand out in my 50 yrs planetside are the ones of enjoying simplistic moments with loved ones, or in nature.  Hugs, kisses, laughter, a walk, a drive, a beautiful flower, or birdsong, these, and so many other things bring me back to the present moment; back to love.  

When our lives get to complicated, sometimes we can forget to let go and just breath. The breath is a simple thing and yet the simple act of breathing can ease anxiety, can open your mind and your heart, can reduce blood pressure, and release pent up anger and I'm sure so much more.  

This is just a reminder that when things seem to hard or complicated, take a step back and remember the simple things; breath, take a bubble bath, go pet your pet, give your best friend a call, hug a friend or family member. When you come back to the problem later I'm sure you will see a clearer picture.  

If you've stepped back and took a break, maybe the problem needs to be broken down into simpler steps that are not so daunting. Maybe take a step back from the situation till it doesn't feel so big.  Simple is usually better, but not always. But if you are confused or troubled, the smartest thing to do is to look for the simplest solution first.  Why do surgery, when all you needed was a bandage. 

Anyways, Have a Blessed day!

Author 

Delila Bishop

When Life Gets Hard

Sometimes life gets hard. It can get busy and stressful, or your relationships can become overwhelming. But if you find yourself constantly on an uphill path, where life is overwhelming every day.  Please realize something needs to change. 

It is natural to have ups and downs in life. But it is entirely possible to live a life where thriving is the norm and the other states just visit breafly to let you know it's time to take a minute and figure things out. If you watch little children you can see that they are usually in a state of curiosity, playfulness, and joy. If they cry or get upset you know it is one of just a few things that it could be. 

As we grow up, more and more things come in and stay in our awareness that we stress about. We forget to have a peaceful and playful outlook. We forget to be curious about our world. It becomes harder to find awe in the things that once would have delighted our senses.  

I am finally in a place in my life where I have been rediscovering joy, peace, and awe. But sometimes I loose it. Maybe for an hour, or a day. Maybe sometimes even for a week or more. But I know what I need to do to get back to my place of thriving.  It is something that I have to cultivate within myself.  It's like a garden, you have to tend to it in order to see progress.  If you plant a bunch of seeds but don't water, weed, and keep the pests away, you're not going to wind up with the results you hoped for, when you planted those seeds. 

So now when I begin to notice that I am not enjoying life as much as I should be, I get back to the practices that bring me the peaceful life I crave. I require daily meditation and gratitude practices. I need to be exercising several times a week. I have to make sure I'm eating right and getting enough sleep and rest. Sometimes I need a break from people in general.  

Once I get back to doing the things I know I need to succeed, I get back to thriving again.  It comes down to knowing yourself. We can't always be in a state of peace, but we can always get back to it once your body knows how it feels to be in that state.  

Anyways, have a blessed day!

Author 

Delila Bishop

Write It Down

 

I find myself in a place where, I had a thought and I lost it. I remember having a thought, at the time that I should write it down, but I had company and didn't want to be rude. I totally could have just let my friend know that I needed a min to write something down, and I wouldn't have lost the insight I had gained at that time.  Instead sure I would remember it later, it is gone, at least for now. 

The tool I use the most for this is my phone since it is usually on hand. But even then, so often my intentions, of one thing, often turn to another as I pick up my phone and notice all the notifications grappling me for my attention.  Often my intention to write something down, or look something up becomes a 30 min mindless scroll before I finally, (or not) remember what I picked up my phone for.  

I think I should probably go ahead and get a small notebook to keep near. Maybe make a phone case for myself that holds a tiny notebook and pen. Hmm, that might be fun. At any rate. I would love some ideas for ways to make writing it down easier. 

Have a Blessed Day

Author  

Delila Bishop 

Memory Mining

 

I created this technique a few years ago for boosting my mood when I needed to. Then it was all about trying to get out of anxiety and depression. I would get in these low spots in my life where it would seem like everything was going wrong.  I would have such bad anxiety that I wouldn't want to hardly leave the house, or my room, and for the most part even my bed. It wasn't just the anxiety though it was also deep depression.  I had been diagnosed with PTSD and Fibromyalgia. Besides that there were quite a few other things that also caused me many other health issues. 

One of the things that seemed to help, once I committed to the regular practice of it, was meditation. During one of these meditations I began to notice that as I was connecting to love, I began to see all these images of different moments in my life where I experienced deep love, such as holding my children on there first day, or my wedding day. As I was connecting to peace I would remember all these times where I felt peaceful, like a day at the beach, or hiking.

It was then that I realized I could use this idea to help my mood, but not only that,  it could help me to forgive those people who wronged me in my life. I gave it the name memory mining, because essentially it's going through your mind and on purposely picking through the memories that will help you to create the feeling you want. 

I could be anywhere at anytime and start having a panic attack. But if I started paying attention to my breath and thinking about the memories of holding my babies or giving  someone a big hug, my breath would slow down, and the tension would ease out of my body. 

But the truth it is, it would be great for lots of moments. Think about when you are scared to do something, you could think about all the times you were courageous. Or if you can't think of anything personally, think about that moment you felt admiration for someone else who was courageous, and know that you could be that too. 

If you keep finding yourself in a state if being angry with someone, and if you want to change that, in order to forgive them for your own peace of mind, mine your memory for all those times you laughed together. Think of all the loving moments you shared. Realize that hurt people hurt people. You may not have been the one to hurt them but someone did. 

Anyways, I bet there are tons of other ways this could be used too. At any rate, since I have been using this, I find I don't even need it that often anymore.  I rarely have an anxiety attack anymore, and if I do I recognize it in just the beginning stages and can talk myself out of it quite quickly. I also have a couple more tricks for anxiety.

One being counting your breath to ten and starting again until you are calm. I remind myself to relax my shoulders and soften my gaze (meaning to focus on everything at once, using a lot of your peripheral vision). Also listening to the sounds of everything. In other words, geting out of your head and into your body. 

Hope this helps. 

Anyways, Have a Blessed Day

Author

Delila Bishop