It's A Choice

 

Happiness is a choice. I know sometimes it doesn't really seem like it. Especially when there are hard things going on in your life.  But it truly is a choice. I remember when I decided I was going to figure out this happiness thing.  It felt like something that was so far away.  It didn't feel like it was something that could be possible for me.  

I began to look up articles about how to be happy. I began to practice the things I found out about that would help.  Meditation, taking time doing things you love, the list can go on and on.  But really it's about making a decision, that you are going to do something about your happiness, and taking action on it. 

If you've ever heard the expression fake it till you make it. It really can help. Smile, even if you don't feel like it. It will change your body chemistry to start feeding your brain happy hormones. Say no to things that don't serve you anymore. Stop hanging around people who bring you down. If it's a work situation, start looking for a new job if you need to. 

If you are unhappy start looking at what needs to change. But make sure you are taking care of the core issues first. Sometimes it's our very own stinking thinking that is causing the issue.  I had to really dig deep to figure out what I needed to change about my own self before I started getting happy.  

A huge part of my happiness is being grateful. I try to dedicate a part of my day to counting my blessings. It's really hard to be unhappy and grateful at the same time. Even when a steady flow of things are going wrong, if you start looking for the reason to be grateful, your brain will find it. Many times when my life gets difficult, I am able to find life's lessons burried within those situations. 

Now instead of looking at something as not fair, or taking the stance of why me, I can look at it and ask myself how can I grow from this situation.  When I stopped looking at myself as a victim, it opened up more room for happiness.  It didn't mean I wasn't a victim, it just means I let go of hanging on to that attitude. By hanging on to the grudge and hanging on to the hate, I wasn't hurting the perpetrator, I was hurting myself. It doesn't make what happened ok. But it does make it easier to take back control of your life, when you can look at what happened with eyes of curiosity.  

What has that got to do with happiness? I know in my life there were lots of times when I got lost in unhappiness, because of being a victim in some way or other. For me, I would get caught up reliving an angry conversation or an accident over and over. I would start thinking of all the things that I could have said or should have said. I had no control of my mind. 

In all honesty, the thing that is going to be able to bring you the most happiness in life, is the skill of directing your mind in the ways that will bring happiness.  Being able to redirect and change your mind when it is being unhelpful.  Knowing that you don't have to believe your own mind about everything.  Just because you have a thought doesn't make it true. 

I wish you a happy life!

Anyways,  Have a Blessed Day 

Author 

Delila Bishop

Sending Love

Sending Love to That Which Feels Unlovable

Everyone is talking about how the world has gone crazy. It is the main topic in a lot of the podcasts that I watch. The world seems more polarized than ever. There is another possible war. The world's elites and governments are getting away with murder and massively raping the earth of her resources. The poor are getting poorer and the rich are getting richer. AI has just really started booming.  Robots seem to be knocking on the world's front door in a really big way. 

A lot of these things have been this way for what seems to be a really long time though. We just didn't see it. There has been a war in every new generation. The churches have been screaming end of days for 2000 years.  Conspiracy Theorists say that the true history of the world has been hidden from us. But as much information that has gone from conspiracy to absolute truth lately, there is no telling what is true.  

I guess what I'm getting at is that there is a lot of things in the world that we are judging right now, or at least I know I am. But the judgments disturbe my spirit. They cause me to fear and hate that which I have judged as wicked and greedy. There have been major tragedies and injustices that have come into our awareness.  

I try to think of these things as arrows. As we go through life we have to stear our ship. Sometimes we stear our ship towards our desires, sometimes we stear it away from that which is not desirable. I believe we have to be the change we want to see in the world. If we see that there is war in the world and that is not what we desire, we must orient ourselves towards peace within. We must direct our thoughts towards the solution instead of the problem.  

We have 8 billion people on this earth who are lovely intelligent people. Create thought tanks, talk about solutions. Take action on those solutions. If you feel super passionate about this, that, or the other it is possible you are supposed to be part of the solution. 

The first step is always going to be to heal your own trauma around the issue first. Because if you are just going around throwing around hateful words, thoughts, and actions at the issue it just creates more momentum for that thing to continue.  But when we ply it with patience and love for the organism as a whole, realizing that as a world we have a cancer so to speak, we can heal it with a gentleness. We have to look at our own selves and see where we have been part of the problem.  

It's not easy to look at ourselves with unbiased constructive criticism.  The key is to not judge yourself for your past mistakes, and just realize you were a different person then.  Now that you can see there is room for improvement, move into awareness at first.  Just notice when you see yourself reacting as the old you, when you have time to reflect think about how you would like future you to handle the situation if it comes up again.  Try to think about the situation as if you weren't in it, but as if you were an outside observer.  Eventually you will start reacting in a way that is very natural and easy in the way you do want.  

The important thing to remember is that hurt people hurt people. Forgiveness is about healing our own psychy. When we have the disturbance in our field of hate, anger, and fear, it directly affects our health, and the health of the world. As within so, without, the kingdom of heaven in within you, and so is hell. Junk in, junk out as we used to say in computer class. When we install the right programs and software into our own psychy, we can start controlling the output. In other words we can start captaining our own ship. Our feelings and actions will be directed by our inner world instead of the outer one. 

When we take action on that wich is unlovable with love, we can start to be a part of the solution.  

Anyways, Have a Blessed Day!

Author 

Delila Bishop

The Simple Things

 

As I was sitting here wondering what I should write about today, a Teddy Swims song came on talking about the simple things in life. It was a great reminder. Most of the most vivid memories that stand out in my 50 yrs planetside are the ones of enjoying simplistic moments with loved ones, or in nature.  Hugs, kisses, laughter, a walk, a drive, a beautiful flower, or birdsong, these, and so many other things bring me back to the present moment; back to love.  

When our lives get to complicated, sometimes we can forget to let go and just breath. The breath is a simple thing and yet the simple act of breathing can ease anxiety, can open your mind and your heart, can reduce blood pressure, and release pent up anger and I'm sure so much more.  

This is just a reminder that when things seem to hard or complicated, take a step back and remember the simple things; breath, take a bubble bath, go pet your pet, give your best friend a call, hug a friend or family member. When you come back to the problem later I'm sure you will see a clearer picture.  

If you've stepped back and took a break, maybe the problem needs to be broken down into simpler steps that are not so daunting. Maybe take a step back from the situation till it doesn't feel so big.  Simple is usually better, but not always. But if you are confused or troubled, the smartest thing to do is to look for the simplest solution first.  Why do surgery, when all you needed was a bandage. 

Anyways, Have a Blessed day!

Author 

Delila Bishop

When Life Gets Hard

Sometimes life gets hard. It can get busy and stressful, or your relationships can become overwhelming. But if you find yourself constantly on an uphill path, where life is overwhelming every day.  Please realize something needs to change. 

It is natural to have ups and downs in life. But it is entirely possible to live a life where thriving is the norm and the other states just visit breafly to let you know it's time to take a minute and figure things out. If you watch little children you can see that they are usually in a state of curiosity, playfulness, and joy. If they cry or get upset you know it is one of just a few things that it could be. 

As we grow up, more and more things come in and stay in our awareness that we stress about. We forget to have a peaceful and playful outlook. We forget to be curious about our world. It becomes harder to find awe in the things that once would have delighted our senses.  

I am finally in a place in my life where I have been rediscovering joy, peace, and awe. But sometimes I loose it. Maybe for an hour, or a day. Maybe sometimes even for a week or more. But I know what I need to do to get back to my place of thriving.  It is something that I have to cultivate within myself.  It's like a garden, you have to tend to it in order to see progress.  If you plant a bunch of seeds but don't water, weed, and keep the pests away, you're not going to wind up with the results you hoped for, when you planted those seeds. 

So now when I begin to notice that I am not enjoying life as much as I should be, I get back to the practices that bring me the peaceful life I crave. I require daily meditation and gratitude practices. I need to be exercising several times a week. I have to make sure I'm eating right and getting enough sleep and rest. Sometimes I need a break from people in general.  

Once I get back to doing the things I know I need to succeed, I get back to thriving again.  It comes down to knowing yourself. We can't always be in a state of peace, but we can always get back to it once your body knows how it feels to be in that state.  

Anyways, have a blessed day!

Author 

Delila Bishop

Write It Down

 

I find myself in a place where, I had a thought and I lost it. I remember having a thought, at the time that I should write it down, but I had company and didn't want to be rude. I totally could have just let my friend know that I needed a min to write something down, and I wouldn't have lost the insight I had gained at that time.  Instead sure I would remember it later, it is gone, at least for now. 

The tool I use the most for this is my phone since it is usually on hand. But even then, so often my intentions, of one thing, often turn to another as I pick up my phone and notice all the notifications grappling me for my attention.  Often my intention to write something down, or look something up becomes a 30 min mindless scroll before I finally, (or not) remember what I picked up my phone for.  

I think I should probably go ahead and get a small notebook to keep near. Maybe make a phone case for myself that holds a tiny notebook and pen. Hmm, that might be fun. At any rate. I would love some ideas for ways to make writing it down easier. 

Have a Blessed Day

Author  

Delila Bishop 

Memory Mining

 

I created this technique a few years ago for boosting my mood when I needed to. Then it was all about trying to get out of anxiety and depression. I would get in these low spots in my life where it would seem like everything was going wrong.  I would have such bad anxiety that I wouldn't want to hardly leave the house, or my room, and for the most part even my bed. It wasn't just the anxiety though it was also deep depression.  I had been diagnosed with PTSD and Fibromyalgia. Besides that there were quite a few other things that also caused me many other health issues. 

One of the things that seemed to help, once I committed to the regular practice of it, was meditation. During one of these meditations I began to notice that as I was connecting to love, I began to see all these images of different moments in my life where I experienced deep love, such as holding my children on there first day, or my wedding day. As I was connecting to peace I would remember all these times where I felt peaceful, like a day at the beach, or hiking.

It was then that I realized I could use this idea to help my mood, but not only that,  it could help me to forgive those people who wronged me in my life. I gave it the name memory mining, because essentially it's going through your mind and on purposely picking through the memories that will help you to create the feeling you want. 

I could be anywhere at anytime and start having a panic attack. But if I started paying attention to my breath and thinking about the memories of holding my babies or giving  someone a big hug, my breath would slow down, and the tension would ease out of my body. 

But the truth it is, it would be great for lots of moments. Think about when you are scared to do something, you could think about all the times you were courageous. Or if you can't think of anything personally, think about that moment you felt admiration for someone else who was courageous, and know that you could be that too. 

If you keep finding yourself in a state if being angry with someone, and if you want to change that, in order to forgive them for your own peace of mind, mine your memory for all those times you laughed together. Think of all the loving moments you shared. Realize that hurt people hurt people. You may not have been the one to hurt them but someone did. 

Anyways, I bet there are tons of other ways this could be used too. At any rate, since I have been using this, I find I don't even need it that often anymore.  I rarely have an anxiety attack anymore, and if I do I recognize it in just the beginning stages and can talk myself out of it quite quickly. I also have a couple more tricks for anxiety.

One being counting your breath to ten and starting again until you are calm. I remind myself to relax my shoulders and soften my gaze (meaning to focus on everything at once, using a lot of your peripheral vision). Also listening to the sounds of everything. In other words, geting out of your head and into your body. 

Hope this helps. 

Anyways, Have a Blessed Day

Author

Delila Bishop 

More Than Meets the Eye

 

Every day you get up and meet the morning expecting to probably know what to expect of your day.  You have your routine, you have your habits. You have your calendar full of appointments and todo lists. Unless you are on some sort of vacation or something, you will probably get up and drink the same coffee, and brush your teeth with the same toothpaste you've been using for years. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with this.  But I've noticed things are changing rapidly in our society.  

Absolutely everything is getting more expensive. You have to watch out for your favorite shops playing tricks on your wallet. Where it has been cheaper to buy in bulk my whole life, I've noticed that it is often less expensive to buy, say, two twelve packs versus the 24 pack. The bigger pack of chicken may be double the price of the smaller and buying two small packs is the better deal. 

Businesses are taking advantage of our busy schedules, over stimulation, and habits to trick us into spending more money.  Brands that I have been buying for years don't taste the same. This all seems like a bad thing, but I've been thinking, what if it's a good thing? 

Yeah, I know companies trying to take advantage of us is definitely not a good thing, but it has woken me up to being more aware. I have to read labels to make sure I'm putting quality ingredients in my body.  I'm having to pay attention to price tags. I'm becoming more aware of being consious about where I place my attention. 

With AI, I'm having to do more research before I just believe what I see on a news article, or in headlines. I pay attention to what's going on in and around major events, incase they are using one headline to hide another or are pushing an agenda.  Or maybe even forgo the news altogether. 

The world we live in today is a completely different place than the one I grew up in. I feel like things are no longer in a place were we can afford to live life the way we have always lived it. The way people make a living is changing. We are living in a global economy, vs waiting for things to be shipped in to your local store so you can peruse the isles. It's no longer a place where you have to have money to make money.  You can make money with a cell phone and a gimmick.  

Sure I haven't got it all figured out yet, but I know an idea can be worth as much or more than a truck full of cargo you could sell. A viral video could jump start a career you never saw coming. 

I'm now at a place where I feel myself grieving a lost world that I felt safe in, but excited to meet the new one. 

You see people are waking up. They are starting to realize that they have been conditioned to look the other way, to stay in there own lane. They have been tricked into thinking they have no power. But your attention is power, your devotion is power, your loyalty is power. Companies are spending millions to attract those things,  and paying celebrities millions to gain your following, your loyalty.  

We are coming to a place where we need to wake up and choose wisely. Where your attention flows energy goes. What do you want the world to look like for your children and your childrens children. If we continue to give our money to tyrants who don't care about the future because they aren't going to be around to see it, we are throwing away our childrens future.  

But the opposite also rings true. If we can give our dollars to people who care about the world and want to see a future full of thriving people living life to the fullest we will create a different world for our future generations.  But it's not only about our attention and the dollar. It's many layers deeper.  

As long as we are living our lives in survival mode, that is what the future will look like too. We owe it to ourselves and our children to heal ourselves and our world and learn what it looks like to do more than just survive.  We need to learn to live outside of the box. We need to stop following the trends and figure out how to follow our own authentic version of life, while keeping in mind we need to leave a better world for the future than the one that was left for us. 

That means figuring out what habits and routines are feeding the future we want to see. Be the change you want to see in the world.  Wake up, it's a beautiful place when you learn how to see it.  

Anyways Have a Blessed Day

Delila Bishop 

Gratitude Time Warp

Today I just thought of a way to make it easier to accomplish stuff in the now for my future self. I call it a "Gratitude Time Warp." Today I realized as I was pouring myself some water, that I was very grateful for my past self that had taken the time to put water in my water pitcher.  I was in a hurry so I would have probably just drank soda, or I would have had to drink tap water. I know it seems so simple but I could really feel how much this simple practice could maybe make it easier to accomplish harder things in my life. 

What if I thought of now me, and future me, and past me as different entities.  My now me can really be grateful for what past me brought into creation. My now me can start thinking about what future me needs to feel healthy, happy, and grateful.  And now I know when I get there I will feel so grateful.  

I know this doesn't seem like a big change but I think it is really going to help my mindset because right now future me seems so very far away. It's kind of hard for me to think, now me wants pizza, but future me wants to loose 40 lbs. Today I found myself making healthier decisions because I was thinking of how grateful future me would be for it. 

You see there are a lot of people who who say time is just an illusion.  Everything is really always happening right here right now.  They say the now moment can affect the future and the past.  I've watched a whole lot of NDE's (Near Death Experiences), and it has been a recurring statement there, and among different religions as well. Now, do I truly know if that's true? No, but I'm okay with that.  

I do know that as I think about how much I love future me,  and have high hopes for her, I am grateful for how far she has come. I know this because I continue to grow and expand and make new creations and discoveries every day. I am super grateful for past me for doing the work that has finally begun to heal my wounded soul. I'm so grateful that I spend so many hours and days in happiness and gratitude.  I'm so glad past me learned how to overcome her negative thinking patterns.  I'm so glad past me read all of those books on self help and healing trauma.  I'm so glad past me was able to forgive so many people who hurt her. 

I know it's all just me, but for some reason thinking this way has given me so much more power in the present moment.  I believe it's because I'm receiving a ton of gratitude from future me who took time to look back and reflect on all those moments that were super tuff, but now me was able to make the hard choice because future me seems a little more real and available. She's not just another,  maybe someday, but someone who I can talk to now. I can send her energy and she can send me energy and we can both send healing energies to our past, where we both know she did the best she could with what she had. 

Hope this helps.  

Have a blessed day.  

Delila Bishop

Boundaries

 

When I was young I was not allowed to have boundaries. And as I got older it was a hard thing to learn, especially as a people pleaser. And especially as an empath, boundaries can become confusing.  Sometimes you almost can't figure out where you end and the other begins, especially concerning emotions.  

When you start learning to build your boundaries, for me a lot of time it came from a place of anger.  Someone had bulldozed me into doing something I didn't want to do and I would be mad at them.  Now I know this makes no sense.  Why would I be mad at someone else over a choice I had made. It was because I felt I really had no choice.  I felt like I had to say yes, because if I didn't that made me a bad friend,  or it made me selfish.  

It often would also come from being angry maybe about what someone had said. (usually my grandma) I would get mad but never say a word. I was afraid to have an opinion, afraid to have wants and needs and make them known. And the truth is I still have problems building healthy boundaries. But I can say boundary building for me has become something I try to face with consciousness.  

I no longer wait for myself to become angry to build a boundary.  In fact it usually has little to do with those outside of myself.  It comes from a place of respect for myself.  I am not going to stay in a place where I feel I'm being disrespected, or be around people who make me feel like I'm less worthwhile then them. If it's someone I truly care about I try to talk with them about how I feel in a healthy way. But I haven't had to do that in a long time now.  

I feel like it's important to build boundaries when you are not angry and build a relationship with yourself by having a set of standards that you apply with consistency.  And a lot of the time it doesn't even take words to defend your boundaries.  A look, and well placed silence can go a long way. Maybe removing yourself from the room or changing the subject. 

I am personally fixing to start building a new set of boundaries for my own self. I want to change my habits and actually start parenting myself.  I let myself get away with eating to much junk, and letting myself be distracted way too often. I feel like that is going to mean building a boundary around eating, like maybe no sweets for 6 days a week. Something simple that I can build on as I go. Maybe only letting myself read or scroll for 1 hr a day. Everything else I pick up my phone for needs to have purpose.  

Yeah. I like that.  

Anyway have a blessed day.  

Delila Bishop

Small Can Be Big

 

Just because others think something is silly or unworthy of your time and attention doesn't make it true. All the great visionaries were at one time thought mad or foolish. 

Look at Jules Verne, in his 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, he imagines this electronic ship that can travel along the bottoms of the ocean. And although he was a super popular author already at the time. He actually took time to look into the research and science of it, and yet a lot of people would relegate his work as simple children's stories. Many of those people would have been shocked if they knew in the future these submarines would be playing a major role in militaries around the world. 

There are many things our world takes for granted but began in the imagination of an author somewhere. Cell phones, video chat, credit cards, satellites, and even the atomic bomb all started in the imagination of an author. And yet how many authors have had their relatives and loved ones tell them they are wasting time on foolish dreams. 

Look at the television and the movies, same thing. Tons of things we take for granted first popped up on a moving picture somewhere. Now imagine that the creators of those things hadn't allowed themselves the time to watch TV or go to the movies because it's a waste of time or money. We wouldn't have so many technological advances now, would we?

It's so easy to get caught up in these habitual pendulums of habit that play out day by day. We do things because we want to, or because we should, but how often do we check on our motivations. Are our actions based on reactions to things happening outside of us? Or are our actions being triggered by a place inside of ourselves? Most likely it is a combination of the two,because there are always going to be outside motivations and reactions as long as we live within this realm. 

But I have recently found myself in a place where it is harder and harder to make myself take action on things just because they are coming at me. On the outside it feels like things are getting chaotic. My dishes aren't getting done as often. My house doesn't look as clean. But I am learning to make bread. I am spending more time with friends. I am spending time putting away things or organizing things that haven't been done in a long time. I'm spending time writing and spending time learning. I'm spending more time in meditation and in nature.  

I know when I get to the end of my life I'm not going to regret not having a cleaner house. I'm going to regret not taking a chance, I'm going to regret not doing that thing I really wanted to try. I'm going to regret not taking a chance to play with the kids or help out my friend. I'm going to regret playing it too safe. I'm going to regret not doing the thing because I'm too afraid of failure. 

There is no action too small or unimportant. We are in a process of constant creation. We are writing our own script each day. We decide how we are going to show up. 

I really think if we begin to enjoy life and show up in the best way we know how, and strive to be our most authentic selves, that we will turn into the visionaries or inspire visionaries, just by being ourselves.  

Anyway, Have a Blessed Day 

Delila Bishop