As I sit out on the porch and my sweet friend Kelli's house, listening to the birds, while I'm watching her father, I find my thoughts turning towards how I can find motivation to stay consistent. The last article I was working on was on Mothers Day. And you might ask where that article is. The truth is I stopped and started on it about 3 or 4 times in about a week or two, didn't like how it was turning out and deleted it. I guess that is probably why I still haven't posted anything for a while.
I am beginning to see a pattern, that is just now showing itself to my conscious mind. I see that I have a tendency to give up when things become difficult or hard. It makes it alot harder to find the motivation to getting started again. But I'm here. I have enough motivation that it's only been a few days since my last attempt at writing and just a couple of weeks since my last post.
Now if I compare myself to a professional who writes everyday,maybe even multiple times a day, that might not seem like a lot. But if I compare that to my past self that would have completely forgotten about the project till months or years later, hmm, not so bad. I used to have a tendency though to beat myself up every time I would find myself not being consistent and would berate myself for not trying hard enough.
Now this is a couple of days later, I still haven't posted anything, but yay, I'm back at it. When I sit still for a while and know I've got a few minutes where I don't have anything that needs to be done this seems to be a go to now. It seems my brain treats it as a hobby that can only be done when I don't have anything else that needs done.
I think this may be the thing that needs to change if I want to create real momentum. I need to train my brain that writing is a priority every day. Or at least more days than not. At least that's what I need to do if I want to produce a serious body of work. Or so my brain is telling me.
But do I really want to make it a priority, an obligation? I find it fun when I just want to do it, but when it becomes something I feel like I have to do, it starts feeling like a chore. It has been that way with anything I have wanted to turn into a job. As soon as I start thinking of something as a job it becomes less fun. Is that because I think work can't be fun? In all honesty every job I've ever had, I low key despised. Work feels like punishment, chores always felt like punishment. I've often heard people say, if it was fun they wouldn't call it work, or all work no play makes Jack a dull boy.
I definitely feel like as a society here in America, we grow up thinking of work as a necessary evil. It's probably like that in other places to. I would love to love my job though. I get a disability check, and do little odd jobs to make a little extra here and there, but I actually do not really have to work. That maybe one of the reasons I have such a hard time actually trying to create momentum with the writing. I don't get any money for my time as of yet, and may never. So I really don't think of it as a job. But I do love the idea of it becoming one, of maybe someday being able to say I am a published author.
So does it really matter if I create momentum with this. Not really, but I am creating a slow momentum because it is something I enjoy and I will continue to come here and practice and create whenever I feel like it, because it's no longer something I'm doing because I feel like I have to. I will continue to enjoy myself as long as I'm just coming to the page to play. I'm not going to force myself to think of it as a job, or even something I have to create momentum with. If I never write another article it would be no big deal. But if I continue to play on the page and wind up creating something that could someday influence another soul create something too, well... yay for me! AND Yay for you!
Anyways, Have a great day! Love you!
Author
Delila Bishop
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